From the get-go, I'm struck by the warm sound and feel of this song, which stays with me throughout. In the high notes, there are moments where the vocals feel a bit strained, though it's pretty subtle and perhaps not noticeable to most. Overall, the lyrics somehow don't really grab me, there are poetic moments and lines which work well within themselves, but I struggle to feel the structure as a whole. It's like lots of lines about love, loss, etc, put into a song, without really telling a cohesive story. An enjoyable listen, though specifically my type of song. My favourite part was the overall warmth of the sound and the quality of the production, which I would say was a DIY home-recorded job (and impressive for that). Happy to give it a share and wish you well with it all going forward.
Hey Brice thanks for sending. Solid track. One thing I felt when listening is that the song felt "ongoing to me" in the form. You might want to try creating some space for the vocal? Like maybe a 4 measure turnaround after the chorus that is just instrumental. Also - food for thought. Do you really need a pre chorus? It feels like (to me) an extended sentence before getting to the chorus. It might be worth checking that out. Also, this comes up quite a lot when I'm reviewing and instead of just chord / chord / chord - can you make a 2nd melody or a riff around that? There's a whole article I did on the subject here and it might be super valuable: https://www.benjamingroff.com/blog/2nd-melodies-aka-the-riff Thanks for the submission - really good but not sure if it's quite right for the projects I'm working on.