Jesse MacLeod

Michael, first off I want to compliment you on your voice, guitar playing and lyrics. You have a unique way of stringing words together in a rhythmic way that I have never heard before. Your voice and guitar playing are both very strong, you don't sound like anyone I've ever heard before, you sound like yourself and that is a VERY good thing. You also did a great job of using dynamics thought the song. There were times where you almost brought the song down to a whisper and then launched into heavy strumming and really let your voice ring out, that is what captivates an audience. I get the sense this is something you may not even be conscious of, you just did it naturally. 

I do have one note, I had a difficult time distinguishing your chorus from your verse because the melodies very similar. You have to be careful to make sure your chorus stands out from your verse and one way to do that is to start your chorus on a different chord than your verse. For example if your verse progression was I, V, vi, IV, using the a  V, vi, ii , IV progression for the chorus would set it apart. If you didn't understand what I just said I would suggest studying music theory or even a taking a class. To become a great songwriter, understanding music theory is an extremely helpful if not essential tool you'll need to have. 

You do have an audience, there are a lot of people out there who would want to listen to you, you just have to find them. The way to do that is to get out and play live and network with other musicians as much as possible, which it seems like you're already doing anyway. Keep writing, keep playing out, you can make a career doing this. 

-Jesse

Shamal Ranasinghe

Hi Michael, thanks for sending this to me. I listened to your track twice. Your heart and soul come through in this song. I have no songwriting feedback for you other than keep tapping into that place where these lyrics are coming from. I had to go into your SoundCloud page to read your lyrics since they moved me right off the bat. The only production suggestions I have are to make the intro sound stronger and clearer on mic. How did you record this? I would seek out Brian Hazard also on here as a curator and see if he could give you some Mastering tips or production work. From a promotional perspective, you should immediately start collecting email addresses of fans so you can mail them when you're playing around the SF Bay area. What kind of software engineering do you do?  Let me know if you ever play in Oakland near Lake Merritt. I would get a website off Wordpress and set up a twitter handle asap as people search for you on the web and twitter. You have a strong future in songwriting and should spend time in the marketing of yourself and your music. Also, after your demos are produced, get a bandcamp account so you can start posting your music and engaging with fans. Keep it coming! Also, I'm sharing with Amazing Artists and Ysanne, who could perhaps accompany this song on violin.

Ari Herstand

Wow. This is such a beautifully honest and heartbreaking song. I'm right there with you and your ex - living the good and the bad. I can tell it was a long, rocky breakup. I'm right there with you was you reminisce on how he comforted you.

Keep practicing your pinger picking. The timing slips a bit in places. 

So many strong lines in here. 
A couple thoughts: I love the line "growing up is a disease." I would repeat that instead of "this age is a disease." It's more relatable. And it's such a strong, universal statement it's worth repeating. 

Instead of " think you once promised when this age ended on us" what about "I think you once promised when this age was upon us" - it's cleaner. 

I don't think this stanza is necessary: 
"I think my feet are in the tide, 
Save yourself, go back inside.
Please tell my mom I'll be home after five.
I think we're ready for something to change before
This age is all that I've got."

"My feet are in the tide" is unclear to me. And then "please tell my mom I'll be home after five" - just seems like a line to rhyme with inside. I think the entire stanza is clumsy and could be cut. 

Love the lines: "The sweat on your heart is a little concerning"
 "Forgetting we shrug so much more now that we're older."
 "I think you once promised when this age ended on us (was upon us)
I would crack at the seams or grow up and be honest.
I think you once told me when I was feeling cold,
That was you in my spine shivering for old time's sake."

"We both grew up in a safe on the shelf
so we only know how to grow up by ourselves."
LOVE

I'm also a little unsure of "the ice is just hurting," but could be revealed in a backstory that you tell before you perform the song. I'm assuming from the SoundCloud tags that maybe this breakup happened during an ice storm?

You have a way with words. I recommend you getting together tighter demos, performing at more folk clubs and getting in touch with the Saddle Creek (Bright Eyes) people in Omaha. 

Please add me to your email list. Very interested to see where your career goes. Happy to support.

Feel free to use this quote for your press page: 
"Michael Weinstein has grabbed the acoustic baton from Bright Eyes and is ushering in the new wave of brutally honest, heartbreaking folk for young Millenials." - Ari Herstand, Digital Music News

Also, please include lyrics with your submissions (I found them on your SoundCloud - but it took awhile having to click through while playing within Fluence).